Toronto is NOT Timbuktu!

In continuation of my last post; Toronto is Not Timbuktu!

Since I’ve made it known that the hubby and I are planning to move into the GTA, we have been met with some feedback of varying degrees, ranging from complete and utter support to what can only be described as derision. By moving into the bubble (if you don’t know what this is, you didn’t read my last post. I’m wagging my finger at you…), we risk alienating our friends in Hamilton.  This is not part of my ultimate goal, as I value the friendships I’ve either rekindled or made here in the past couple years.

We have become the target of unsolicited advice on the pitfalls of moving to the GTA, not always from people that have actually lived there.  I completely understand that sometimes we see friends make decisions that we can’t agree with, or that we’ve seen other friends come to regret, and we feel the need to step in, in an effort to protect people who we’ve come to value. But we must understand that there comes a time when we need to step back and let those we love make their own decisions, their own mistakes, much like a parent must learn to do with a child.  As a wise friend has said to me recently, “…most people have selfish intentions when they’re giving advice”.  I find this to be pretty accurate, in most cases.  I know the advice that I’ve recently been given is coming from a caring place, and genuine concern for my well-being, which is why I take it as graciously as possible.  I withstand the warnings of danger, of consequences relating to taking such a risk, and accept it in the manner it was given.  It doesn’t mean I’m deterred, however, and I plough forward on my current trajectory. 

Seriously, how can you resist this view?

What this decision comes down to is fulfilling a long term plan.   The original plan did not include settling in Hamilton for long, the ultimate goal since coming back to Canada has always been Toronto.  Before we ever left Canada that was our goal as well, at least until PDX came calling. We understand we have many friends that can’t fathom the thought of willingly choosing to move to the T Dot; rest assured we know what we’re doing.  We love the metropolis, the hustle and bustle, the multiculturalism, heck, the CULTURE.  We’re city people (we realized this more than ever while living in Portland), and we understand that this does not appeal to everyone.  Even if it’s a HUGE mistake, it’s one we have to make ourselves.  I just don’t want to hear it if the gavel of reality comes thumping down on my head, and expect support from any of my friends when needed, no matter where they live. 

All of these changes do not mean we don’t value our friends in the Hammer.  Having lost some great friends in the past due to distance and lack of communication, I have learned some valuable lessons on fostering and nurturing friendships.  Toronto is NOT that far, we can make this thing work.  If I can maintain a friendship with a high school friend that lives in Goderich (really in the middle of nowhere, sorry S, but it’s true), then the distance from Hamilton to Toronto should be a piece of cake!  The reality is any relationship takes work, and if both parties are willing to foster it, it will grow.  We just have to learn to meet in the middle.  So what do you say?